Serve the Scum Well-Done

The Portland Timbers Football Club did the business last night in Seattle, picking up a point against the hated Sounders in a nil-nil draw. I'm sure gi'normous Qwest Field veritably trembled with the sheer karmic force of SoundersMania, as the rabid Seattle fans cheered on their USL First Division Champions. Or perhaps there were simply many heartfelt moments set to emotion-stirring song.

Tonight, we have the Scum where we want them: in the Green Hell of Civic Stadium/PGE Park. While Timbers attendance is down so far this year, and Portland's annual Rose Festival ("The City-Wide Celebration No One But No One in the City Gives a Damn About") will work its usual traffic-snarling magick west of the Willamette, Portland Soccer Nation always steps it up when Seattle comes calling. Loathsome gaol (I MEAN! goal) keeper Preston Burpo moved on to the glamour, riches and tradition of Chivas USA this year (stop yer snickering); I will sorely miss the all-too-short-lived chant of "Hey, Burpo—Leave Those Kids Alone." But undoubtedly the footballing geniuses at Sounder Central have recruited the same assortment of hacks, buffoons, low-rent cheats and third-class dive-artists that has made the club an absolute by-word among coinoisseurs of the Beautiful Game.

Going into this weekend's double-ender, I wanted between four and six points. So far, so good. Agnello's men have not thus far shown a particular knack for putting the biscuit in the basket, but maybe the full-throated roar of the Timbers Army will induce some scoring. In any case, I'll see y'all at "the ground," as we like to call it in our fake British accents.