Friday, November 07, 2008


To The Esteemed Readers of Eleven Devils—

As of today, this blog moves to a new home on the World Wide Wires. Henceforth, you can find my very occasional, under-researched, thought-free dribblings regarding the Beautiful Game at this address:

Please excuse the new site's embryonic state. The full archives, a new blogroll and free candy for everyone are all coming soon. In the meantime, enjoy the very first post, and thanks, as always, for reading.

—The Proprietor.

The Master of the...Throw In?

Love it. From the Department of Tactical Innovations, the Rory Delap throw-in:

How long before the US national team adopts this as an attacking technique the American public can embrace. You use your hands!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Mercury United

Crickey—this blog is in worse shape than the Republican Party. Aging. Out of touch. And, of course, white. I promise there will be an almighty shake-up soon, and the kind of renaissance it usually takes Harry Redknapp to pull together.

In the meantime, please observe that the Portland Mercury has prepared an excellent rundown of Portland's current standing in the MLS expansion sweepstakes, complete with the requisite vicious stabs at the Scum up north. Good times.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sharp as the Razor in Jamie Carragher's Hand!

Zounds. Run of Play has a hot new look.

The Definition of Pain

I think it's fair to say that the Spurs/Liverpool match provided it.

How many times can a side hit the woodwork, rip open the defense only to miss by a fraction, or generally boss the whole pitch only to find that a comedic goalkeeper somehow turns back the tide? Only to see an equalizer off the head of its own iconic defender, followed by a final-minute winner from a Russia guy who was basically just standing there?

Good fucking god.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Golden Memories

If it seems like a sort of strange time for an exhaustive retrospective defense of the 1994 World Cup, well, it is. And yet behold.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Great Advances in Self-Promotional Science

In further gripping news, Eleven Devils now has a sibling blog, wherein deep thoughts on non-football-related matters will bandy themselves about. Any linkage, commentary, etc. greatly appreciated.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Joe Public

We heard a lot about Joe the Plumber in tonight's presidential debate. I was very disappointed that we didn't hear more about the views and concerns of Chastity the Exotic Dancer, Sierra the Graphic Designer and Trev, the Construction Worker Who Sells A Little Weed on the Side. Soccer fans will no doubt agree that America also needs to consider the relative positions of:

Landon, the Neurotic Striker
Jens, the Psychotic and Unpleasant Goalkeeper
Freddie, the Ghanian-Born Man-Child
Frankie, the Guy Who Dances Like a Fuckface Every Time He Scores
Thierry, the Washed-Up Supermodel
Ronny, the Brazilian Who Resembles a Horse, If You Want to be Unkind
Oguchi, the Guy Who Will Fuck You Up
Sepp, the Creepy Overlord
Bruce, the Loud-Mouthed and Strangely Underachieving Manager

Seven Into Two

It seems that Major League Soccer—perhaps taking a cue from the McCain campaign and its strange obsession with beauty queens—will pit seven markets against each other for its next two expansion slots. Will there be a talent portion to the competition? From a strictly parochial perspective, the news comes in twos:

1) Portland, in the form of the Portland Timbers, Merritt Paulson and his father, the powerful Commissar of the People's Industries and the New Central Economic Policy, is on the list, and;

2) Portland would seem not to have a chance in Hades, at least this time around. We've got Steve Nash pressing us from one side, FC Barcelona from the other, with St. Louis' long-delayed bid hammering us right down the middle. Meanwhile, any effort to secure public financing to upgrade PGE Park to MLS standards will face a tough battle, especially if Merritt's dad doesn't succeed in staving off the Second Great Depression. I would say that Barca's heft and MLS' yen for Canada (not to mention the fact that the Canadian economy is not nearly so fucked as ours) will deliver a Vancouver/Miami couplet. Saint Louis and Portland will be told, on the sly, that they're next.

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...

Self-promotional tidbits from the dark interior world of Eleven Devils:

The Editorial We recently wrapped up work on a series of short video documentaries, undertaken with the good people at Good. Theme: "weird sports." You can few the first four outta six clips in hi-rez grandeur here, but for your convenience, let's embed!

GOOD: Adult Soap Box Derby -

GOOD: Aussie Rules Football -

GOOD: Urban Golf -

GOOD: Dodgeball -

Yes, that is my nasal voice narrating. Thanks.

Through the excellent efforts of my ex-Albina Going Football Club teammate Nicholhino, there is also now a respectable I love you, 21st Century.