tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-271341562024-03-07T18:17:51.594-08:00Eleven Devils : A Football BlogZach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.comBlogger394125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-19070984884374348992008-11-07T15:40:00.001-08:002008-11-07T15:43:33.563-08:00A CHANGE OF ADDRESSTo The Esteemed Readers of Eleven Devils—<br /><br />As of today, this blog moves to a new home on the World Wide Wires. Henceforth, you can find my very occasional, under-researched, thought-free dribblings regarding the Beautiful Game at this address:<br /><br />elevendevils.zachdundas.com.<br /><br />Please excuse the new site's embryonic state. The full archives, a new blogroll and free candy for everyone are all coming soon. In the meantime, enjoy the very first post, and thanks, as always, for reading.<br /><br />—The Proprietor.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-73127541122890574362008-11-07T13:10:00.001-08:002008-11-07T13:11:15.867-08:00The Master of the...Throw In?Love it. From the Department of Tactical Innovations, the Rory Delap throw-in:<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vvTS2wmnt3A&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vvTS2wmnt3A&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />How long before the US national team adopts this as an attacking technique the American public can embrace. You use your hands!Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-65796056602521337182008-11-05T16:34:00.000-08:002008-11-05T16:37:58.086-08:00Mercury UnitedCrickey—this blog is in worse shape than the Republican Party. Aging. Out of touch. And, of course, white. I promise there will be an almighty shake-up soon, and the kind of renaissance it usually takes Harry Redknapp to pull together.<br /><br />In the meantime, please observe that <a href="http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2008/11/05/mls2pdx_meetings_in_nyc#more">the Portland Mercury</a> has prepared an excellent rundown of Portland's current standing in the MLS expansion sweepstakes, complete with the requisite vicious stabs at the Scum up north. Good times.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-67854947412487628532008-11-02T10:48:00.000-08:002008-11-02T10:49:09.809-08:00Sharp as the Razor in Jamie Carragher's Hand!Zounds. <a href="http://www.runofplay.com/">Run of Play</a> has a hot new look.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-87509278251149609192008-11-02T10:44:00.001-08:002008-11-02T10:46:36.131-08:00The Definition of PainI think it's fair to say that the Spurs/Liverpool match provided it.<br /><br />How many times can a side hit the woodwork, rip open the defense only to miss by a fraction, or generally boss the whole pitch only to find that a comedic goalkeeper somehow turns back the tide? Only to see an equalizer off the head of its own iconic defender, followed by a final-minute winner from a Russia guy who was basically just standing there?<br /><br />Good fucking god.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-63624926954020919092008-10-29T11:08:00.000-07:002008-10-29T11:09:38.644-07:00Golden MemoriesIf it seems like a sort of strange time for an exhaustive retrospective defense of the 1994 World Cup, well, it is. And yet <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2008/oct/29/1">behold.</a>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-8279666489621052222008-10-26T10:21:00.000-07:002008-10-26T10:22:20.351-07:00A Brief Update<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/26/chelsea-liverpool">Oh, hell yes.</a>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-24815013642649885052008-10-16T11:52:00.001-07:002008-10-16T11:53:31.084-07:00Great Advances in Self-Promotional ScienceIn further gripping news, Eleven Devils now has a <a href="http://www.zachdundas.com/blog/">sibling blog,</a> wherein deep thoughts on non-football-related matters will bandy themselves about. Any linkage, commentary, etc. greatly appreciated.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-46338023674226911062008-10-15T20:50:00.000-07:002008-10-15T20:56:48.308-07:00Joe PublicWe heard a lot about Joe the Plumber in tonight's presidential debate. I was very disappointed that we didn't hear more about the views and concerns of Chastity the Exotic Dancer, Sierra the Graphic Designer and Trev, the Construction Worker Who Sells A Little Weed on the Side. Soccer fans will no doubt agree that America also needs to consider the relative positions of:<br /><br />Landon, the Neurotic Striker<br />Jens, the Psychotic and Unpleasant Goalkeeper<br />Freddie, the Ghanian-Born Man-Child<br />Frankie, the Guy Who Dances Like a Fuckface Every Time He Scores<br />Thierry, the Washed-Up Supermodel<br />Ronny, the Brazilian Who Resembles a Horse, If You Want to be Unkind<br />Oguchi, the Guy Who Will Fuck You Up<br />Luca, the CRAZY ITALIAN!<br />Sepp, the Creepy Overlord<br />Bruce, the Loud-Mouthed and Strangely Underachieving ManagerZach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-1896626027009070592008-10-15T14:40:00.000-07:002008-10-15T14:51:00.541-07:00Seven Into TwoIt seems that Major League Soccer—perhaps taking a cue from the McCain campaign and its strange obsession with beauty queens—will <a href="http://web.mlsnet.com/news/mls_news.jsp?ymd=20081015&content_id=196067&vkey=pr_mls&fext=.jsp">pit seven markets against each other</a> for its next two expansion slots. Will there be a talent portion to the competition? From a strictly parochial perspective, the news comes in twos: <br /><br />1) Portland, in the form of the Portland Timbers, Merritt Paulson and his father, the powerful Commissar of the People's Industries and the New Central Economic Policy, is on the list, and;<br /><br />2) Portland would seem not to have a chance in Hades, at least this time around. We've got Steve Nash pressing us from one side, FC Barcelona from the other, with St. Louis' long-delayed bid hammering us right down the middle. Meanwhile, any effort to secure public financing to upgrade PGE Park to MLS standards will face a tough battle, especially if Merritt's dad doesn't succeed in staving off the Second Great Depression. I would say that Barca's heft and MLS' yen for Canada (not to mention the fact that the Canadian economy is not nearly so fucked as ours) will deliver a Vancouver/Miami couplet. Saint Louis and Portland will be told, on the sly, that they're next.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-40480154174900663882008-10-15T11:41:00.001-07:002008-10-15T11:51:25.517-07:00Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...Self-promotional tidbits from the dark interior world of Eleven Devils:<br /><br />The Editorial We recently wrapped up work on a series of short video documentaries, undertaken with the good people at <i>Good</i>. Theme: "weird sports." You can few the first four outta six clips in hi-rez grandeur <a href="http://www.good.is/sections/video/video.php?tname=the-wild-frontier-of-sports">here,</a> but for your convenience, let's embed!<br /><br /><object width="400" height="269"><param name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/v/Snf_HYVrFu/aus=false/pv=2"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://media.imeem.com/v/Snf_HYVrFu/aus=false/pv=2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="269" allowFullScreen="true"></embed><a href="http://www.imeem.com/good/video/MNhvPYxf/good_adult_soap_box_derby_sports_video/">GOOD: Adult Soap Box Derby - </a></object><br /><br /><object width="400" height="345"><param name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/v/_COpCG-era/aus=false/pv=2"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://media.imeem.com/v/_COpCG-era/aus=false/pv=2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="345" allowFullScreen="true"></embed><a href="http://www.imeem.com/good/video/jZxSh_-H/good_aussie_rules_football_sports_video/">GOOD: Aussie Rules Football - </a></object><br /><br /><object width="400" height="269"><param name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/v/7M4XaZszlK/aus=false/pv=2"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://media.imeem.com/v/7M4XaZszlK/aus=false/pv=2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="269" allowFullScreen="true"></embed><a href="http://www.imeem.com/good/video/aASfhRNw/good_urban_golf_sports_video/">GOOD: Urban Golf - </a></object><br /><br /><object width="400" height="345"><param name="movie" value="http://media.imeem.com/v/pWxBW7O6O-/aus=false/pv=2"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://media.imeem.com/v/pWxBW7O6O-/aus=false/pv=2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="345" allowFullScreen="true"></embed><a href="http://www.imeem.com/good/video/Vp1DADZa/good_dodgeball_sports_video/">GOOD: Dodgeball - </a></object><br /><br />Yes, that is my nasal voice narrating. Thanks.<br /><br />Through the excellent efforts of my ex-Albina Going Football Club teammate Nicholhino, there is also now a respectable <a href="http://www.zachdundas.com">zachdundas.com.</a> I love you, 21st Century.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-49070760340136191542008-10-13T16:55:00.000-07:002008-10-13T17:09:04.107-07:00"What's the Difference Between Spurs and a Triangle?"I have a love/hate relationship with Tottenham Hotspur. Naturally, as a fan of another Premier League team, I'm hono(u)r-bound to loathe them and wish for their eventual relegation to the <a href="http://www.arthurianleague.com/">Arthurian League.</a> (Which is the coolest league, by the way—what do you make of a circuit that includes a club called "Old Haberdashers"?) In the psychotic teleology of the football fan, the desired end state of civilization is one in which the top league consists of one team: yours. However, Spurs exude a certain sympathetic aura of pre-2004-Boston-Red-Sox-esque permanent near-miss haplessness. Plus, I know a grand total of one Spurs fan personally, and he's a great guy. At some point, he will have suffered enough. Right?<br /><br />Still, there is a sick grandeur to what Spurs are doing this season. Two points from 21. The very sight causes a kind of pleasurable marathoner's masochism—like, it doesn't feel good, exactly, but you're also fascinated in just how bad it could get. As we all ponder the possibility of a "major" club plying its trade in the Championship next season, get over and read <a href="http://www.runofplay.com/2008/10/10/what-everyone-knows-about-tottenham/">this fantastic summation</a> of Spurs' malign accomplishment over at Run of Play. As Andrew Sullivan would say, the money quote:<br /><i><br />"Chelsea have made it to the top by spending millions of pounds on talented players and skilled managers. Tottenham have made it to the bottom by doing exactly the same thing, which is, in many ways, the more astounding feat."</i>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-17032683015924527292008-10-10T23:05:00.000-07:002008-10-13T12:03:52.848-07:00Jeff Agoos v. Karl MarxThe Goose, noted political scientist, <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/premierleague/3168727/Premier-League-in-crisis-A-worldwide-view-from-three-angles-Football.html">examines the dialectics</a> of Major League Soccer.<br /><br />UPDATE: You know, for some reason I've been thinking about Jeff's analysis. (I know, I'm a sad man with nothing going on.) I have heard MLS's "single-entity" structure described as "socialist" before. The thing is, socialism—while it obviously comes in many different flavors and enjoys a, uh, mixed track record in practice—really involves some form of <i>worker</i> ownership and control of an economy or given asset. Or, in its blander social-democratic variants, at least management of the economy for the benefit of a broad spectrum of workers. In other words, MLS isn't socialist at all: it's a cartel of owners who have agreed to share certain risks and rewards and, very specifically, manage their shared product in a way that minimizes the workers' share in the proceeds. I recall when I interviewed MLS deputy commish Ivan Gazidis a few years back, he noted that many European leagues actually looked to MLS for inspiration—at least as far as "getting salary costs under control" was concerned. In that vein, I wonder how many of the MLS developmental players who make less than $20,000 a year think they work in a "socialist" system?Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-63169955931310470762008-10-09T12:53:00.001-07:002008-10-09T12:54:16.344-07:00When I NAFF, I NAFF for the TimbersA promising new series at <a href="http://amoresplendidlife.blogspot.com/">A More Splendid Life.</a>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-11542563990363007112008-10-09T12:36:00.001-07:002008-10-09T12:45:12.800-07:00Debtors PrisonHere's an interesting idea from UEFA: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/09/championsleague.liverpool">ban debt-saddled clubs from the Champions League.</a> Do they really have the guts to do it? Not bloody likely, as a pathetic Anglophile (who? me?) might say. While the CL might be more interesting without Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool, it would also suffer a catastrophic loss of popularity in the more casual parts* of the global football market. Fact is, fans in North America and Asia just aren't going to rally to a European final that pits Bayern Munich against Lyon, at least not the way they rally when ManchVegas and Chelski star. Second fact is, from what I understand about football business practices in general, I believe competitions might get rather sparse if you suddenly kicked out every club with less-than-transparent finances.<br /><br />Still, Platini and Co. are certainly on the right track. The issue highlights one of many fascinating sidelights in Goldblatt's mammoth history, <i>The Ball is Round</i>: the enduring conflict between UEFA, which is grounded in a very 21st Century, Eurodelic culture of rationality, transparency and reform, and the rest of world football governance, which is grounded in feral capitalism, corruption and self-dealing. Which side do you think will win?<br /><br />----<br />*Channelling David "The Sage of Applebee's" BrooksZach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-68344479353587993872008-10-08T13:22:00.000-07:002008-10-08T13:34:05.194-07:00How About a Spending Freeze?Looks like the English FA is channelling <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/08/premierleague">the juggernaut political idea factory inside John McCain's mind,</a> and has angered the Barclaycard Premierhood with talk of a salary cap. A salary cap would, of course, set the Premiership on the road towards competitiveness, and thus ruin for the over-extended Big Four: they all need to make the Champions League group stages every year and tap those unfairly allocated television revenues, less the whole Ponzi scheme collapse. (And listen, Arsenal can't beat Hull City as it is—what would happen if they had to mind the balance sheet?)<br /><br />Global financial worries aside, I think it would make more (or at least as much) sense to: A) cap squad sizes; and B) cap the amount a club can spend in a given transfer window. Liverpool has something like 50 guys listed on its current first-squad roster, which is absurd. Why not limit clubs to, say, 25 players <i>plus</i> however many senior players they can bring up through their own developmental teams? Under that formula, if a club really wanted 60 players, they would have to home-grow most of them rather than stockpiling transfer-market players who they'll never use: no more buying Swiss internationals for the occasional League Cup match. Meanwhile, if clubs faced a limit of, say, 25 million pounds total in a single window, it would force the big boys to pick and choose and curb inflation of transfer prices overall.<br /><br />Now, anything else?Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-50013261289073066452008-10-06T14:21:00.000-07:002008-10-06T14:23:14.594-07:00Great Moments in SportI see that Russia defeated Solomon Islands 31 : 2 in the Futsal World Cup. I'm not one to advocate going easy on anyone in a world-championship competition, but, y'know, c'mon.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-73142887373532093632008-10-06T09:22:00.000-07:002008-10-06T09:23:56.830-07:00Friendly FascismHow can we claim to run a free society when, due to the oppressive practices of free Internet video sites, the only highlight reel of Liverpool's dramatic 2:3 win at ManchVegas City that I can find is a fuzzy Blip.tv clip...set to Ricky Martin's "La Vida Loca"?Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-51553725447435318942008-10-04T11:04:00.000-07:002008-10-04T13:43:57.672-07:00Sleaze UpdatePreston Burpo, former member of the hated Seattle Sounders and <i>bete noire</i> of the Timbers Army, has not <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_10623316">improved</a> in the wake of his move to MLS.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-59253837189514785522008-10-02T14:18:00.001-07:002008-10-02T14:19:09.274-07:00American Football Explains Nothing About Modern War Except How to Lose ItS. Wells <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2008/oct/01/ussport">unloads</a> on a terrifying-sounding book.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-7500280114708174712008-10-02T14:07:00.000-07:002008-10-02T14:08:22.327-07:00InspirationI have a futsal match tonight, and that often makes me think of this play. It pretty much sums up what I'm capable of at my best:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QBrFlDpQudY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QBrFlDpQudY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-25579846355815922062008-10-01T14:15:00.001-07:002008-10-01T14:16:39.428-07:00There's Going to Be An Awful Epidemic of Anorthosis!It's <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/match/3074968">catching.</a>Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-89516210372829987642008-09-28T14:58:00.000-07:002008-09-28T15:01:07.442-07:00How the Mighty, Etc.In the wake of Arsenal's 1:2 loss to Hull City (not to mention Barca's loss to Numancia, Roma's Champions League loss to Cluj, the 2:5 hiding Sexy Jurgen's gang took not long ago...), how's that inevitable European SuperLeague sounding?Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-34561150970051206932008-09-26T12:56:00.000-07:002008-09-26T12:57:43.367-07:00Tearful Reminiscences of EmpireSure, I'm kind of a sucker for sports nostalgia and history. But <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/26/opinion/26buzz.html?hp">Yankees nostalgia?</a> That's like looking back fondly on the heyday of Standard Oil.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27134156.post-74882847611718980612008-09-26T11:27:00.000-07:002008-09-26T11:29:02.651-07:00Great Moments in Hudsonia"Franck cannot believe it...and his daughter needs to be slapped."<br /><br />—commentator Ray Hudson, as Bayern Munich's off-duty Franck Ribery glumly watches Bayern's 2:5 home loss to Werder...with his toddler daughter applauding at his side.Zach Dundashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17384574691806880787noreply@blogger.com0